One Year: Where I Was & Where I Am

Happy Halloween!

This holiday has a strange significance for me now. In myths it’s the day when the veil between the mortal world and the afterlife is the thinnest. And one year ago today, that veil got pretty thin for me.

TW/CW in the post for some medical details and photos of medical-related things. There are no blood, pills, or needles shown. 

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My Statement as a Riptide Publishing Author:

This has been a week of revelations for many. It has been a shock, a horrible surprise, a source for outrage and hurt and anger. What was done by people in positions of trust and power has caused irreparable harm— but for those who knew about it and could not speak up for fear of repercussion, it’s also a time of relief. What was a poorly-kept-secret is now in the open.

As a Riptide author, I have a lot to think about. I have a lot to process. I’ve spent the last few days examining my own interactions with Sarah and other Riptide staff… and also my contribution to further harm by not speaking up when faced with signs of phobic, abusive, and inappropriate behavior. Some was shock, some was a desperate need for approval from people who held power of my writing career. But I need to apologize for not speaking up and calling out problematic behavior, like when I was told that “it would probably be best for these stories to be as close to, uh, “mainstream” queer as possible.” I am sorry for my silence, and by extension my complicity in any harm caused.

Right now I am faced with the same difficult choices as many of my fellow Riptide authors. My immediate desire is to pull my books from this publisher; however, hasty decisions have gotten me in trouble in the past, and I’m determined to fully understand all options before me before taking any steps. The cost of self-publication must be examined, as too should the options of re-publishing with another company. There is potential for my books to be out of print for months, and the lost royalties associated with that are potentially damaging.

I say all of this to be as transparent as possible, and to ask your understanding and patience as I work to select the best path for my books, my readers, and myself.

But whatever may come next, I want to make something clear: Xen’s courageous choice to speak up has my full and unwavering support, as does any author or reader who does the same. Thank you Xen— for speaking up, and for listening when I needed someone to talk to.

What’s next for me beyond this? I have a novel in the works that was already intended to be my first self-pub project. It’s about friendship, dreams, and a maybe-otherworldly neighbor. I already have a cover for it, and I can’t wait to share it with you all! I’m also working on a sequel to Heels Over Head, which was also planned for self-publishing as Riptide declined to contract it.

I hope to be back soon with more information on all of my books. Thank you so much.

Guest Post at Open Ink Perspectives!

I wrote a post over at Open Ink’s Perspectives blog about the things I wish I’d been told when I first got offered a publishing contract:

If I could go back in time, I’d tell myself three simple things:

1. Stop procrastinating. No, seriously. Deadlines come faster than you’d think.
2. You will feel like a fraud at least three times a day. You’re not.
3. It’s okay to say ‘no’.

The post is titled Learning to Say NoGo check it out!